Day by day drying up, losing energy, perspective, warmth.Â My world began to look desolate and that desire of wanting to run far away consumed me. Each week that passed, added one more layer of self -loathing, frustration upon my heart.
Something had to change..
Taunted by un-Holy thoughts, dreams, sleepless nights caused not only my spiritual and emotional health to suffer, but my physical health as well.Â A car accident resulting in a severe whiplash in September, to a full blown: coughing, sneezing, scratchy throat kind feeling cold.Â My physical energy plummeted.
Something had to giveâ€¦
Where to turn, what to plan, I was spiraling out of control, screaming inside, Adonai, please save me!Â What obviously had slipped my mind was the fact that He already has, many times over.
Once again, realizing all I ever really needed was Him, in all things.Â Tapping into the super natural power of my heavenly Father and listening intently with my spiritual ears all the things He has to share with me.Â Allowing myself to be possessed by the Holy Spirit, lifted the dark veil that was slowing encompassing my being.
Where I am nowâ€¦
Spending the day with my husband and sharing my heart with him has readjusted my focus and allowed me to continue on to a path of healing.Â Sometimes, looking at your own world through the eyes of another lover of Jesus can speed the healing process that had already begun deep within me.
Something to changeâ€¦
Placing the desire to serve deep within my heart is something God breathed.Â I do not wish to be a servant, it is hard work with little recognition or gratitude.Â But it was etched upon my heart by my Creator, and it is something that I am called to do. It is just one of the many personal hand stamps He has given me.
Something to giveâ€¦
I would like to take this moment in time, this place that I am in and capture it, so that I can always remember how easy it is to lose sight of what truly is important to me. When my eyes are not on the One that I truly care about, Jesus Christ, my life, and this world in which I am temporarily planted, looks bleakly grim.
I have so much to love to give, so much to be thankful for that if I tried to pen the words, the pages would be filled and then filled again.
Adonai, thank you for loving me the way you do. Thank you for breathing into my life the things you do. Thank you for so many of the blessings and trials because through each one, I am drawn closer to you and the desires of my heart are aligned with what You desire for my life.
When the day draws to a close and the setting of the sun no longer shines, You step in and take over, bringing light to the darkest valleys of my heart.Â I love You.