My day began with snow gently falling and the odor of poop; dog, cat, or human I was not sure until I located it. It was dog poop. Our poor dog, Vera, is having another touch of colitis. Off to work, no snow delay, meetings and treatments, the roads were slippery. Eleven o’clock am, work is let out early because the snow continued to fall.
I opened the front door, shaking off the snow. I heard an unusual sound – Bang, Bang, Bang! I found my 82 year old Dad trying to split a large piece of firewood with a hatchet to get a fire started, my daughter was cleaning up yet another poop on the foyer floor, I read in the log that my Dad’s helper found a cat poop in my tub! All I could do was to fight back the tears and wonder, why?
Overwhelmed, I went into my bedroom praying for God to help me maintain. I wanted to have a meltdown, an angry, screaming crying meltdown. But I continued to pray.
Sometimes it seems like my life is out of control and I wonder how it happened. How did I get here? To this crazy existence that is my life right now. More importantly how do I persevere? I believe.
I believe that my God loves me so much that He gave His Son Jesus Christ, so that I could live even when I die.
So here I sit, in my living room with a roaring fire to keep me warm, watching some sad little court TV show that clearly demonstrates the darkness of this world. The snow has changed to sleet then rain and the early work dismissal seemed an overreaction now, regardless I was still thankful.
I have read in scriptures this verse, and for some reason, it came to my mind:
“No temptation[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV) Footnotes a – c: The Greek for temptation and tempted can also mean testing and tested.
This particular verse really seemed to hit home today in my spirit, and once again I felt that special closeness to my Jesus. The day continued to wane on, I learned that a person who had once been a part of my life is in trouble, emotionally and spiritually. I had a sense of urgency for him, but I also felt that it was just one more thing adding to my ever growing list of “things” that consume me.
8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 5:8-13 (NIV)
I am beginning to see myself as a cog in a wheel of spokes that always need adjusting. I feel that if I should falter in any way that the wheel of my life will crash. The sleepless nights are adding up and my fatigue level is increasing, I am finding it hard to balance all of it and keep my focus on God. The spiritual war that whirls around is trying to consume me but He who lives in me is stronger, I will win through Jesus.
“ Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 14 Do everything in love”
1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (NIV)
22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. 24I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV)